(29) 365/2010: creation space.

this was a tough week. long and stagnant. somber. wet and messy.

but...

friday was beautiful. visitors from all over south africa came to visit my class. they sang, danced, and spoke about their lives. i wanted to cry, but was hesitant to display such a level of vulnerability in front of my students. i smiled a lot. my students noticed my happiness and asked if i missed south africa.

last year, i didn't have time and money to go to south africa last year and as a consequence, i have felt a bit sad and displaced. having these visitors in my classroom--in the space where i've spent most of my time for the past two years, took me back to south africa for 45 minutes. and it was a wonderful journey into time and back into time. i feel grateful that they welcomed ancestors and told their life stories in the space i stand and teach each day. their presence brought such a calming energy to room 5.

i do not have all the word to articulate my feelings. maybe the words do not exist. maybe they are trapped elsewhere and i do not have access to them.

it was just beautiful to hear students talk about wanting to go to south africa...and embracing the place i feel in love with in 2005. it was the moment i felt the most connected to my students and their welcoming spirit. it was the moment i realized that south africa is a magical space and people can fall in love with it instantly..just as i did. my students went into the experience with damaging and skewed perspectives of africa the continent, and left with realization that there are layers of knowing that they are just beginning to understand.

friday...i felt truly alive. you never know that you've been walking around a bit dead until something suddenly brings you back to life.

question is, how do i sustain this feeling of calm and happiness when not in south africa. that will be the struggle.

other reasons why this week was beautiful and blissful:

- my dad singing 'one nation under a grove' by funkadelic

- helping one of my advisee who believes she is dumb and incapable see her amazing artistic talent. she can draw, paint, and photograph beautifully. we are taking a trip to SF to visit the school of arts. this summer, i am helping her to enroll in two community college art classes. i have so much faith in this child's artistic talent and she is finally seeing talent as well

- helping a former student put her modeling portfolio together

- having dinner at the treehouse (stanford) with my little brother and my mom. when i was a student there, i loved the treehouse..it was nice to go back. revisiting geographies

- dropping off my photos for gallery exhibit

- playing around in the darkroom to make photograms

- the opportunity to shot portraits with expired film

- starting photography book with students (each is selecting a person and shooting 5 portraits along with an interview...criteria is 'a story that NEEDS to be told.'

- found a $20 copy of 'the sweet flypaper of life'