currently reading: 'freedom dreams: the black radical imagination,' by robin d.g. kelley and 'a people's history of the united states,' by howard zinn
how am i feeling: unfocused and a bit sad. tired of jealous+petty people who take my kindness for a weakness and seek to bring me down. but, my electricity is running again. this is only after i called and had to be rude and nasty. when the electricians finished fixing everything i told them i loved them, then jacque reminded me that i shouldn't tell random south african men that i love them as they may just take me seriously.
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isn't my blog pretty? :)...i redesign it myself. i used to do graphic+web design when i was 13 then abandoned for a bit, but it looks like i still have a little bit of it in me. anyhoo...

*oh, how i wish she'd stop playing matchmaker: there is this woman (kristin) in my building is involved in some covert activity to hook me up with random african muslim men. i didn't ask for a matchmaker and i think her actions are motivated by her bewilderment at the fact that i am 21 and uninvolved. hmmm. in fact the director of international house was surprised that in fact i did not have kids or a husband to visit in america during break. she was convinced that i was confused and was in fact married with 2.5 children.

anyway, kristin tells me that there is some nigerian muslim guy who wants to meet me/she wants me to meet tomorrow. i definitely wont be around. like i am literally going to be incognito. she attempted to facilitate a relationship between hasan and i on our excursion to the halal market. please stop woman! hasan is a a funny situation because he is just so awkward and cheerful. he does funny/weird things like coming by and upon seeing someone else answer my door gets concerned as to where i am and suspicious as to what the person at the door is doing to me, and gets my number from who knows and calls beginning a conversation without introducing himself.

is it okay for me to just chill and not be involved? the other random men here who attempt to insert themselves into my life keep me more than busy without 'help' from kristin.

*happy thoughts: so many wonderful things have happened over the past few days, alhumdulillah. and i am grateful everyday that allah guided me towards my fulbright grant instead of immediately going to harvard for my ed.m.

i am working with the ASHA preschools, and collaborating with a squatter community from soweto relocated to the middle of nowhere to get schools started up.

*the 'diplomatic mission' at the islamic school: i did my presentation at the islamic school (a fairly affluent south asian population with a few black students) about my experience as an 'american muslim' which developed into a hostile+oppositional discourse when placed alongside the official discourse performed by the american government representatives. it was almost like the american representative was the main text, and i was the marginal footnotes or parenthesized narrative that would have moments of discursive guerrilla attacks. he was only surprised by what i said because no one ever bothered to ask my opinions of america before i came to speak. i guess they assumed whatever my opinions, i would be easily conscripted into the patriotic discourse. but, i think they have a clear understanding now.

before the 'mc' even met me, he introduced me as a 'muslim citizen living in america, who wears her hijab as a way of life not as a uniform like many students here.' i thought it was a fitting description (because i don't identify as an american citizen, but as a global citizen and def. as part of the islamic diaspora) and quite interesting how he called out the girls who remove their hijab when they leave campus.

the high school students were great and asked probing questions. i laughed when one of the reps said 'i was surprised that the girls were so vocal.' have you not met me? wow, maybe something he should not have articulated as i am sitting next to him. just because we wear hijab and carry ourselves in a certain way does not mean that we don't have a level of consciousness or are afraid to argue with an american representative on the inconsistencies between state rhetoric and the experiences on the ground. i left feeling good about what i said and i even got an applause a few times. i definitely enjoyed talking to the high school students more than the administrators. as i was speaking to the high schoolers, i was more relaxed and was able to smile and laugh more. after the event was over, i said if they had more questions they could get my contact info. i was not sure how strict the school was, so i changed my statement and said if any of the girls needs my contact info, i could provide it. a few girls got my info, but why did i get these young boys coming at me trying to kick game? grossly inappropriate if for no other reason then that while i still look like i am 16, i am a grown woman and they should not be trying to talk to me. i really looked at this one kid and said are you serious.

*on the radio: afterwards, the teacher who organized the event said i was 'incredible' (haha) and asked if i would do a 15-min interview on his radio station 'channel islam.' i agreed and the interview went pretty well. i hope i can get a tape of it at a later point.

*a much needed weekend getaway: this weekend i am escaping. i heading up/down (not sure) to vaal dam. i am going to enjoy a lovely non-WITS weekend, chill by the lake, take pictures, read, chill some more and sleep. it will be lovely.